We asked you to caption this photo to win a pair of passes to LouFest, taking place August 25th and 26th in Forest Park. Nearly 200 of you gave voice to Muddy Larry, in one of the hardest contests we've had to judge yet. Seriously: all y'all are pretty damned funny.
In hindsight, we probably should have anticipated that a man covered in a sticky brown substance would give birth to, what can only be described as, A New Record in Human Waste Jokes on KDHX.org. Give yourselves a hand! Then wash that hand, please.
Let's start with the Honorable Mentions!
The "Ineligible to Win" Award goes to Scott Bahan, the KDHX Volunteer Coordinator who entered as "Tocs Nahab" and didn't think we'd catch it (we didn't, but he told us anyway. He's good people). Nice try, Tocs Nahab! -- "Don't wipe it off, this place is crawling with Predators!" Congrats to user Meier for his similarly awesome Predator reference. If it bleeds, Muddy Larry can kill it.
We'll never be able to hear this song again without thinking of SkinnyIsDead, who said: "We found love in a soapless place." And to that we'd like to say...ZING! Nice work, clever job and what a happy ending for Muddy Larry and his Shining Knight of a girlfriend.
The "Lives in a Glass House, Throws Stones Anyway" Award goes to user Dontneedanything: "Closing ceremony for the Arkansas State Olympics." (Direct all angry letters to: anonymous commenter "dontneedanything," PO Box 0ICU812, Pueblo, CO).
The "Three Stooges and a Number Two Pun" award goes to a Chase Webb, Ryan and Michael Straub threefer, respectibly: "I said LouFest, not POO Fest!" and "You told me this is Poo Fest!" and "This is LouFest??? I thought it was PooFest!!!!"
The "Future Reddit Meme Award" goes to Zackary Matthew Sloan with this one-two karma punch:
Anyway, you should read all the comments because there are just too many great ones to mention. And now, the winners! Four pairs of 2-day passes were up for grabs, so congrats to the following fine folks who win a pair each.
The first pick, was also coincidentally the first comment. Kevin Griffin said:
"Toilet Diving is getting old."
This made me laugh out loud when I thought about it every day for five days straight. It likely will forever. Kevin's comment takes me to the edge of a comedy universe I want answers to. Chief among them:
-I want to know why this man started Toilet Diving.
-I want to know about the world where Toilet Diving is considered "a thing."
-I want to know about the world where Toilet Diving is not only a thing, but it never gets old for an unspecified amount of time.
-I want to know how long it took to get to that point.
-I want to know if he was considered good at it by Toilet Diving peers/hobbyists.
-I want to know who will fill the Toilet Diving Sized Hole in this industry now that this man has retired...this Michael Jordan of Toilet Diving.
Anyway...so many questions. The next winner was a hit across the board. Steve Weldon said:
"I'm fine...I'm fine. Go save rubber ducky!!"
This joke makes bath time lots of fun. Ernie is a real hero. And a real human being.
The penultimate winner takes a gold medal. Jason Savoy said:
"Soon after his final Olympics, Michael Phelps started smoking again."
HI-YO! Hey, remember when that was a thing? And people were upset about it? Oh, 2009...you seem so long ago.
Our final winner has Muddy Larry walk a mile in Tila Tequilla's shoes. MainliningEyeliner said:
"Tell me what else the Juggalos did, honey."
Poor Muddy Larry: he played the music festival lottery and lost again. What else was he expecting?
We want to thank everyone who entered, and we hope you'll follow us on Facebook and Twitter to hear news first about upcoming contests for Phish, essay writer the Avett Brothers, Old 97s and a few more unnannounced surprises...